Opening Remarks

There are times at the dinner table my children will actually engage in natural dialogue as opposed to their typical feeding frenzy, which brings back childhood memories of passing by the feeding trough at the county fair.

One such bubbling discussion occurred this week where our middle son, Cameron (age 9), voiced in excitement:

“Guess what Dad?”


“I am going to be a lunch monitor tomorrow for a younger classroom?”

“Awesome!” I said.

Just then Riley, age seven, piped in from across the table inquiring, “Can you open stuff?”

“What do you mean?” asked Cameron

“You have to open stuff.”

Through the course of the conversation we gathered that one of the key duties of a lunch monitor separating the pros from the posers is if you have the ability to open any jars, containers, or pouches that a younger student may be having trouble opening.

With great confidence, and almost astonished that Riley would question his strength, Cameron rolled his eyes and remarked, “Yes…I can open stuff!”

The next day while driving with my children I asked Cameron how his first day of being a lunch monitor went.

“It went good,” he said, “I was actually in Riley’s class.”

“Really?  Well Riley, how did Cameron do?”

Without a pause Riley remarked, “He still has lots to learn.”

Through my investigation I discovered that Cameron was immediately challenged at the start of the lunch period with a younger student in distress over their inability to open a ranch dressing pouch.  Apparently, Cameron did all he could to open it, but was unable to break through.

According to Riley he then made a lunch monitor rookie mistake, grabbing the student’s scissors and slashing it open, thereby “infecting” the ranch dressing and creating a sticky, slimy mess on the scissors.

Cameron claimed his hands where slippery from previously handling a pizza, but the jury members of the mini-van found his statement highly suspicious and questionable.

The journeys, dangers, and high-stakes game of grade school.


~ by Dave Smith on May 22, 2009.

One Response to “Opening Remarks”

  1. This is a fine example of quality reporting.

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