(Inevitable) Marital Dissatisfaction

The xx‘s new music video does a nice job of showing the subtle, gradual course of most marital relationships:

In his book, Sacred Marriage, Gary Thomas writes:

A mature Christian finds his or her fulfillment in living faithfully before God–that is, in being a mature person, not being around a particular person.  Much of our marital dissatisfaction stems in actuality from self-hatred.  We don’t like what we’ve done or become; we’ve let selfish and sinful attitudes poison our thoughts and lead us into shameful behaviors, and suddenly all we want is out.

The mature response, however, is not to leave; it’s to change–ourselves.

Whatever marital dissatisfaction rears its head in my marriage–as it does in virtually every marriage–I simply check my focus.  The times that I am happiest and most fulfilled in my marriage are the time when I am intent on drawing meaning and fulfillment from becoming a better husband rather than from demanding a “better” wife (101).

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~ by Dave Smith on April 28, 2010.

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